On being neurospicy and attending a rave
Last night we went to what was to all intents and purposes a rave. It is not my scene, but there were multiple DJs (some in teams), and a huge cavernous space for dancing – at University of Canberra Refectory. I joked earlier in the night that it was like going to a nightclub, but for old people because it started at 8pm. I would estimate a good proportion of the crowd were in their 40s and 50s – it was The Presets’ 20th anniversary show.
Now, I have never been to a rave. I went to – and worked at – goth clubs for a number of years around 2002-2008, but goth clubs are not raves. In fact, there was a bit of a dichotomy in the scene about bleep-y vs guitar-y goth music, which was often represented in the scene with different floors in the clubs for the broadly different styles. So last night was something of a new experience for me, and one that did not play out that well.
If you know me, or read my previous blog post, you’ll know I live with migraine. Now, migraine is a neurological condition and therefore, kind of by definition, those of us with it are neurodivergent. My previous post talked about how it’s a sensory processing disorder, and one thing about raves (so it turns out) is that there are a lot of brightly flashing lights. This would be a total no-no for some folk living with migraine, but I managed ok for a couple of hours. But once The Presets took the stage, the lights really ramped up and my brain went into meltdown. I didn’t go into a migraine attack, but I wasn’t dealing emotionally. There was too much light. There were too many people. They were jostling me. So we went to the back of the room, but apparently not far back enough because people walking behind me still walked into me. Even leaning against the back wall of the venue was didn’t help – the light was still too much. After trying to stick it out, I decided it was time to get off the floor; so we went and sat down in the venue foyer and let my brain calm down. It was actually pretty good just sitting there and listening to the music without being bombarded with strobe lights. We eventually decided to go home 90 minutes into The Presets’ set, because I wasn’t going to manage those lights again, and it was getting on to midnight.
The best thing we got out of last night was the tshirts. They have skulls with a rainbow spectrum that’s heavy on the pinks and blues, which is about as me as you can get. The only thing that would make these shirts better would for them to have been on black fabric.
I guess I’ll stick to going to see metal bands in the future.
EDIT: I forgot to say - this wasn't a great experience but it's good now that I have these frameworks of neurodivergence to explain what the hell's going on in my brain when I go from "having a good time" to "nope crying now" in the matter of a few minutes. One thing we think about migraine is the idea of thresholds; that you can take a certain level of stimulation/triggers without too much problem, but go over that and *boom* migraine attack (or neurospicy event). Brains are fucking weird, folks.
Now, I have never been to a rave. I went to – and worked at – goth clubs for a number of years around 2002-2008, but goth clubs are not raves. In fact, there was a bit of a dichotomy in the scene about bleep-y vs guitar-y goth music, which was often represented in the scene with different floors in the clubs for the broadly different styles. So last night was something of a new experience for me, and one that did not play out that well.
If you know me, or read my previous blog post, you’ll know I live with migraine. Now, migraine is a neurological condition and therefore, kind of by definition, those of us with it are neurodivergent. My previous post talked about how it’s a sensory processing disorder, and one thing about raves (so it turns out) is that there are a lot of brightly flashing lights. This would be a total no-no for some folk living with migraine, but I managed ok for a couple of hours. But once The Presets took the stage, the lights really ramped up and my brain went into meltdown. I didn’t go into a migraine attack, but I wasn’t dealing emotionally. There was too much light. There were too many people. They were jostling me. So we went to the back of the room, but apparently not far back enough because people walking behind me still walked into me. Even leaning against the back wall of the venue was didn’t help – the light was still too much. After trying to stick it out, I decided it was time to get off the floor; so we went and sat down in the venue foyer and let my brain calm down. It was actually pretty good just sitting there and listening to the music without being bombarded with strobe lights. We eventually decided to go home 90 minutes into The Presets’ set, because I wasn’t going to manage those lights again, and it was getting on to midnight.
The best thing we got out of last night was the tshirts. They have skulls with a rainbow spectrum that’s heavy on the pinks and blues, which is about as me as you can get. The only thing that would make these shirts better would for them to have been on black fabric.
I guess I’ll stick to going to see metal bands in the future.
EDIT: I forgot to say - this wasn't a great experience but it's good now that I have these frameworks of neurodivergence to explain what the hell's going on in my brain when I go from "having a good time" to "nope crying now" in the matter of a few minutes. One thing we think about migraine is the idea of thresholds; that you can take a certain level of stimulation/triggers without too much problem, but go over that and *boom* migraine attack (or neurospicy event). Brains are fucking weird, folks.